Lessons in Inability

The candles are lit. The lights are dimmed. In the corner glowing softly are both my digital ovulation predictor and my non-digital (but also hugely expensive) stick, with a smiley face and two thick lines respectively on each.
This was it, my heart cried.. this will be the month I have waited for! HSG done and tubes clear, S/A done and normal and I am even ovulating on my own! Could the month get any better??

DH and I had an a-m-a-z-i-n-g very NON typical-BD'ing session in that it was great fun, and good and non pressured. My spirits rose even higher, and I was delighted with high hopes for the next night.

The next night came. I used all my talents and powers to coax DH into the mood.. he came to the bedroom (begrudgingly I might add) , and all hell broke lose. There was no nice romantic candles, no fun, and certainly no 'finishing' on either side. Instead there were tears, screaming and shouting.

How is it both DH and I are trapped by our own insecurities and inabilities? I am trapped and infuriated by my inability to get PG and control my ovaries..
DH is trapped by his inability and failure to finish. And vice versa.. I am infuriated when DH can't finish and I am sure DH is infuriated that he stuck with someone who can't even ovulate on her own each month.

How to get over these hurdles which seem so small and yet have the ability to set your emotions, hearts, pregnancy possibilities and relationships back by months?
How does one manage in their failure to be able to help themselves cope, never mind helping their partner to cope?

When will my happy, carefree self with a twinkle in her eye return.. when the days aren't judged on what cycle day I am on, but what fun activities I have planned for the week?