Some time ago, DH banned me from using two little words, they are (in order):
1) What
2) If
But, 'what if' have so many possibilities.. and I can utilize them to the best, negative purposes. My top favourite, for right now is 'what if this IUI hasn't worked', which of course, can only be followed by 'what if I never get pregnant?'
The IUI this morning was also fine. Not as good a sperm count as yesterday, but still definitely ok. Why then do I find it so hard to relax? Why do I constantly spend my time obsessing over what may or may not happen.. especially when I know that obsessing is the least helpful thing for me to do right now.
I never find myself pondering that which I don't dare to really think/hope to myself like 'what if I get pregnant or what if I get pregnant with twins', instead I choose, constantly, to focus on what can go wrong. Why is it so hard to remain positive and hopeful?
And then, on the months when I do get my hopes up do I crash harder than ever. How does one achieve this sense of balance which I seek (and so desperately need)?
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3 comments:
Still trying to figure that one out myself. I have good intentions to be "cautiously optimistic," but it doesn't really lessen the blow of a BFN.
Yikes- great question. I'm sorry to say I don't have a sure fire answer. Getting lost in a good book or movie temporarily calms my fertility-focused brain sometimes.
Finding balance is the hardest thing ever. Some cycles I have it, other's I don't. More often than not, I don't.
Keeping my fingers crossed during your 2ww!
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